This is not an article about how to cut weight for the beach like a UFC fighter, or how to run off the bag of popcorn you split with the dog last night. There are no instructions. You’re not going to look and feel any better by reading this. It’s not a diet, and there are no specific instructions on what you should eat, or how you should exercise. If you need a specific diet, call a nutritionist, and if you need a specific exercise regimen, call a trainer.
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I am not a personal trainer, nor am I a bodybuilder. I’m a naturally stocky guy, who does his best to stay lean. It’s a point of pride for me to stay in good shape. “Back in the day” I was a wrestler and I learned a lot about how to manipulate weight, body fat, and hydration levels. Due to the discipline I learned wrestling and competing in competitive distance races – I’ve been able to manage my appearance throughout my life. Even on the wrong side of 30, I get carded routinely, and am asked (or chided) almost daily about what I do to stay in great shape. And the truth is – I don’t do much. The secret isn’t about working out – it’s about diet. And there really isn’t any excuse. My wife and I don’t really like or tolerate the same foods. But we eat together every day, we’re both healthy, and we’re both in great shape.
Specifically, I want to talk about feeling “full”, and how you can manipulate your brain to feel that way. Because if you can master the psychology behind your diet, you can master the psychology behind your career. Once you understand, you become aware of parallels to seemingly everything. Your customers, your business, and as a user experience practitioner, nearly everything about the job. If you don’t understand your own behavior, how can you possibly understand someone else’s?
The Psychology of Food
The act of eating is a funny thing. It can be a coping mechanism. Home at night, watching a sad movie, or a scary movie, or the game that’s tied and heading to overtime. All of the feelings you have, the insecurities, the nerves, the fears – can all manifest themselves in a snack. And truthfully, a single snack isn’t so bad. But it adds up. It’s trendy to say that calories don’t matter, and that’s because recent science doesn’t support the idea that counting calories can be a successful, long-term weight loss approach. But that’s not the entire story – because calories do matter – the issue is that they’re just one of many important factors in your diet, and your diet is based on how you feel – not on what you eat. Counting calories is an act of deprivation. You can’t build habits based around depriving your body around the fuel it needs to stay alive. Is it any wonder that it’s so difficult to just not eat? Your emotions factor in, and they can either be on your side, or against you. Are you an emotional eater? A bored eater? Are you an emotional drinker? The obvious answer is no, right? But if you’re like 99% of the population, including me, you’re lying to yourself. Your hunger is controlled by a complex network of emotions, which are largely fueled by an impossibly complex puzzle of hormones, bacteria, movement, your mental state…and your habits.
It’s not all bad news, because while it’s easy to create poor dietary habits, contributing to a lifetime of struggle – it’s also pretty easy to create new and better habits to replace them.
Dietary Habits
Have you ever analyzed your diet? Not calorie counting, or a specific type of diet. Not counting carbs, or fat. Have you ever analyzed the times of day you eat? The size and color of your plate? Or how much conversation you typically have during a meal? What about watching television, or checking for the latest on your Snapchat and Instagram feeds?
Environment
If you have noticed or tried to control for any of those things, you’re probably one of the few who are at least aware of how your environment can shape your diet. It’s a factor in so many lives that is very easy to take control of, but so many people don’t make the small effort to affect the change.
For example, think of the family dinner. Imagine a nuclear family table with Mom, Dad and two kids, (and the dog begging for scraps). But don’t notice what they’re eating – it doesn’t matter. Notice that no one is talking to each other – the kids are texting with friends, watching video clips, and checking their Snapchat. Mom is watching memes on Facebook and Dad is emailing a colleague with his mind half on work, half on the basketball game he’s watching in the background. Everyone is quiet, inhaling their food as they pay attention to other things, and suddenly they all hit the wall – feeling stuffed, and gross. Everyone shuffles off to different areas of the house to crash as their blood sugar starts to plummet. Hours later, they each return to the kitchen, for a late night snack. They have trouble sleeping when they got hungry.
Now imagine the same family – but Mom decided that enough was enough – no cell phones at the dinner table.
Mom wasn’t trying to get everyone to lose weight. She wanted to create an environment where her family could flourish. Where everyone could have a great time talking about whatever comes up, without distractions. But strangely, after a few months, everyone felt great. Dinner was the highlight of the day, a time that the entire family looked forward to. And, everyone lost a few pounds. The compliments everyone was getting kept coming up in their newfound conversation. No one understood why, because they weren’t eating “healthier” – and no one had started a new exercise routine – but they were all happy with the result.
What happened?
Simply by participating in a conversation, three major things happened:
- They naturally ate more slowly, as the focus of the meal became the conversation, not the food. By not eating too quickly, their hormones were able to accurately signal to them when they were full, preventing them from overeating while distracted.
- Because they ate more slowly, their blood sugar didn’t spike as much. Over time, this improved their insulin resistance and allowed their bodies to process foods more efficiently.
- They all felt loved, included, and became notably happier. This lowered their cortisol levels and increased oxytocin and dopamine levels. This positive shift in hormones made them all better equipped to withstand late night snacking, and facilitated their overall shift in focus from food to interest in family matters.
That is how, by being aware of your environment and how it shapes your habits, you can easily make changes to improve your health. This family doesn’t understand insulin resistance and it’s relationship to their overall health. But by changing their environment – for completely different reasons – they were able to all improve their health.
Mindset
“But I don’t have time!” you say. “I simply don’t have the time to research, prepare, cook, and clean up healthy meals this week, let alone every single day. We’re already stretched so thin, and I just can’t add one more thing to my to-do list. Everyone is busy and unless you’ve got a chef, or something…I don’t know, some people just hit the genetic lottery.”
Chances are you use the “no time” excuse in at least one area of your life. It’s a reflection of priorities. The “no time” excuse, and it’s cousin, the “no money” excuse, are crippling psychological barriers to many people in many different walks of life. And because people either believe them and are unwilling to challenge them, they suffer.
Think of someone you know who made a New Year’s Resolution this past years to “lose a few pounds”. They might have even succeeded at first. But chances are, when March rolls around, they’re worried about “losing a few pounds” for the beach that summer. New Year’s Resolutions almost never become permanent habits.
The important thing to know is that it’s not a failure of that person. It’s not a character flaw, or a sign of weakness. It’s a failure of their newfound, and limited willpower to overcome their habits, which have become deeply ingrained over many years. And that’s the point where most people figure they aren’t strong or disciplined enough – so they give up, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. “Losing a few pounds” isn’t a very specific, or measurable goal – and because it’s vague, it doesn’t create the motivation to solve the problem. A haphazard diet that lasts a month will fail as soon as other things start coming up. Work got busy, the dog got sick, and we’ve been going out to dinner lately. The problem wasn’t the person – the problem was that they hadn’t solved the problem. They hadn’t created a structure for new habits to replaced old ones. When faced with all these sudden issues to take care of, the diet fell by the wayside.
Think of the rare person that succeeds with a resolution. If you ask them, they’ll say they “I changed my lifestyle. I worked out more, and eat healthier”. That may be true, but it’s not the entire story. This is the person who identified the problems that kept them from achieving their weight loss goal, and created new habits to overcome them. This is the person who noticed they ate well at home – but always went out for lunch. So they decided they’d take a cue from a friend, and prepare healthy lunches every Sunday for their entire workweek. This way they were not tempted to go out to lunch all the time, and they always ate filling, healthy lunches. And if they wanted to go out – it became a special treat instead of a boring old routine. When things got crazy, and they had to take care of the sick dog, work late, or had a dinner date, they could do so without worrying about wrecking their diet – and missing out on their resolution. And the best part was that the more they did it, the more routine if became. They created a habit of preparing lunches – to specifically reduce temptation.
But what really locked that habit into place? Was the catalyst really just making a few bagged lunches every Sunday? After all, Sundays can get busy too. This is where the magic happens. Because that’s the correct question. Reducing the temptation and having some initial success isn’t what created a new habit strong enough to withstand time and waning motivation. It got them part of the way there – but what cemented the new habits were the unexpected rewards of doing so. Suddenly, the person who packed their health lunch no longer had an afternoon crash. They also physically spent more time working, because they weren’t taking extended lunches all the time. That meant their performance improved at work – and they didn’t have to work late anymore. They had more time available to them, not less. They got compliments on their weight loss, getting positive reinforcement in the form of social proof. They were looking good, feeling good, being more productive, and having more free time. Those are the types of benefits that will sustain motivation for long enough to create a long-term habit. That’s what “I changed my lifestyle” means.
(A note: willpower was previously believed to be finite, but it’s now believed that it can be strengthened, like a muscle – so we can hold off on the Steve Jobs turtleneck every day. You can resist decision-making fatigue after all.)
Considerations, Detail, and a Few More Tricks
This post is 2,000 words in, and I haven’t detailed anything specific on nutrition. Now I’ll share my thoughts on some specifics, including my thoughts on various diets, and tips and tricks I use myself to make sure my own health habits are optimized. If nothing else, it’s a bunch of examples of practical application in habit building that really drive a person’s behavior. If you don’t care about any of this, now is a good time to stop reading.
Calorie Density
By definition, calorie density measures the calories by volume of food. This important because hormones in your gut make judgments on how much food you’ve eaten by volume, not by number of calories. In a nutshell calorie density is how you can manipulate your feeling of fullness. A quick Google search on calorie density reveals what this means in practice. Foods that have a low number of calories relative to their volume, such as most vegetables, have the effect of making you feel full for a fewer number of calories than most meats, oils, grains, and dairy. It’s not 100% simple, because that feeling of fullness passes more quickly, as digestion happens more quickly if you’re eating a low calorie diet. You can’t just eat a side salad, expect it to pass for a full meal, and then expect to feel full all day. But it does mean that you can “guard” against overeating by doing the following:
- Eating vegetables at every meal
- Eating the lightest part of your meal (calorie density-wise) first, usually those same vegetables, before the heaviest part
This is a great way to build healthy eating habits.
Nutrient Density
Also a great way to manage your long-term health and dietary habits. This is the “eat whole, unprocessed foods” argument. Foods that are unprocessed have more nutrients by volume. This helps you avoid nutrient deficiencies, and the cravings for certain foods that may sabotage your diet. Nutrient density is also where you start to see the “eat organic foods” movement begin. Because of the way they are grown, organic foods have a higher nutrient density than conventionally grown foods, because they haven’t been treated with pesticides and other chemicals (they produce more nutrients as a reaction to stress, which is lessened when given external support). I personally think that conventional foods aren’t as bad as they’ve been made out to be – if they are whole and unprocessed – but in most cases organic foods are superior if you can afford them.
Nutrient density is also why foods such as grains and legumes (let’s wait on the carbohydrate vs. fat thing for a minute) are not considered as healthy as vegetables. Even though grains and legumes contain many essential and healthy nutrients, they also contain compounds that are colloquially referred to as “anti-nutrients” – things that either interfere or prevent your body’s absorption of some of the good nutrients in the food. For example, even though a piece of bread may have many beneficial nutrients in it, your body will not digest all of them, because the fiber in the bread does not digest the same as a simple sugar.
In a nutshell:
- Organic foods > Conventional whole, unprocessed foods > Processed foods.
- Vegetables > Legumes > Grains.
Color
It’s of no surprise to anyone that the color of foods is reflective of the nutrients they contain. Eating a broad color palette is an easy way to get a wide variety of nutrients, without forcing yourself to micromanage your diet. Instead of looking up and eventually memorizing the nutritional content of foods to make sure you get adequate amounts of this nutrient and that nutrient – just grab colorful produce.
Speed of Eating
This is a cousin of the family who prioritizes conversation over mobile devices example from above. By eating more slowly, you give your gut a chance to release the hormones indicating you are full (because these things all tie together, it also important to note that it’s easier to do this when you’re eating a diet that is not calorie dense – how long does it take to eat a big salad, versus a grilled cheese sandwich?). I’d recommend not eating alone, because of the conversation. The bet here is that if you focus on the meal and your company, you won’t overeat. But if you are eating alone, try to:
- Avoid consuming content (television, social media, browsing) – this is distracting, which is what you’re trying to avoid.
- Chew slowly – this is a hard habit to build if you’re eating processed foods. It’s much easier if you’re eating whole foods.
- Focus on your meal – be present with the meal. This is a fancy way of saying to focus on and think about the meal and what you’re trying to accomplish with it, even if it’s just the fact that you’re starving and you need to eat something. Again, easier to do with vegetables.
- Occasionally practice fasting – this will help you break your psychological dependence on eating at certain times of the day. That way, when you are hungry, you won’t freak out and overeat, or compromise your health goals in a moment of weakness. You’ll be more comfortable with discomfort.
Plate Size
Portion control is a relative to calorie density – if you are eating foods with a lower calorie density, such as vegetables, you don’t need to worry much about portion control. But when eating foods with higher calorie densities – most carbs, proteins, and fats, – you need to watch your portions. There is a quick trick for this – use smaller plates. People have a tendency to fill their plate (and eat until it’s clean). If you use a medium sized plate rather than a large one, there will be no need to stress over portions. Too much food won’t fit on the plate.
Meal Preparation
This is something that some competitive athletes and fitness models practice. You make healthy meals that fit the criteria you require, and keep them refrigerated or frozen until it’s time to eat them. The key for this one is the routine – do it on a weekend, or a day that is consistently an off day for you. This way, in a moment of weakness, you’ll always have something healthy prepared. And best of all, you’re being efficient with your time, so you also avoid the pitfalls of grabbing something unhealthy because you “don’t have time”. I like to do this with my salads. I make a big salad that will last me 4 or 5 days, and spend an hour or so on Sunday cutting vegetables for it. The funny thing is, people at work always comment on how fancy they look, and how they wish they had the time to make something healthy like that. One hour (or less) a week is all it takes. Every morning, I just fill a container and go. It takes seconds.
Repetition
One major trick that healthy people do is repeat the same meal over and over again. This is also a trick that many diet programs use successfully. Finding something new and exciting is the the focus of many cookbooks, websites, and Pinterest boards. But this doesn’t lead to long-term success. Figure out a few simple meals that you and your family like, and repeat them. Chicken and veggies on Monday’s? Done. You never have to spend time figuring out what to make. The fewer decisions you need to make, the more likely you’ll have continued success. And if you still want variety, you can change things up by preparing it a different way. You can marinate chicken thousands of different ways and they still take the same amount of time to grill. Maybe next week you can slice it, grill it in a pan and throw it on some salad. And the week after that you can shred it and have chicken tacos.
(This post is 3 months in the making and it’s still not complete, so as they say…to be continued…)
*This is the part where I remind everyone that I’m not a doctor and this is not medical advice. Your health and your diet are your own. These are my thoughts on how you can take something physical – the feeling of hunger – and apply it to something theoretical – your customers. By understanding oneself, you can improve the lives of others.
